Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize