Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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