you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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