i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize