i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
