I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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