Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
