Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
