You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
