Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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