I love black thongs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
