guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
