do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
