i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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