dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
