OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
