im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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