So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
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Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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