i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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