We got so high we made milksteak
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
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did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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