I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so let's talk penis.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize