Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Welp...herpes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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