I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
