new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize