I hope mine doesn't look like that
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
