He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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