CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
