Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
