Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
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Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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