I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
