I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
