Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
