Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize