I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
