why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
