Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am one with the molecules
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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