Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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