I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
