dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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