this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
