Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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