So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
