If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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