a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
