apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
