It's like God shit irony all over that family
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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