ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
