Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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