Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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