I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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