OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
