So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
