I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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