Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We left the knife in your bed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
