So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
