okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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