I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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